my inner critic

I had a rough morning yesterday. I over slept. Missed my Pilates class, barely had time to run a brush through my hair before all 3 kids were awake and dripping in grumpiness. At breakfast I am snippy, the boys are fighting and I just poured their bowls of cereal when I realize I am out of milk… fruit, bread, and eggs! At this point some very unlady like words are coming out of my mouth. So I decide to call my closest friend. She knows my heart better than anyone and replay the details of my morning to her.

She responds, “You know… I just don’t think you are cut out to be a mom. You are impatient and scatter brained and they deserve better than you.” “CLICK”

These were actually my own thoughts, the way I sometimes speak to myself when I am feeling weak and defeated by the day or the morning.

My inner critic is to keep me focused on SELF, and usually the most insignificant pieces of myself. I tend to head straight to the brains torture chamber. Taking in every detail, maybe adding some lemon juice to maximize the sting. Then I obviously need to take a picture so it will last longer and I can go over it again and again. As long as I am being honest here the last step is to medicate with a chocolate bar. The whole process distracts me from living, loving, and serving by magnifying and constantly reminding me of my insecurities and weaknesses.

  • What triggers my inner critic?                                                                                                                      

exhaustion, comparing myself to others, unnecessary expectations I make for myself , perfectionism,

  • How does it make me feel when I listen to this negative self-talk and absorb it as truth?

Joyless, angry, unfulfilled, unworthy, shameful, sad, guilty

 

I’ve started to mindfully redirect my thoughts by:

  • Reminding myself of my beauties and strengths. What makes me amazing?
  • Write a message of gratitude of all that I HAVE been given.
  • Remember all those who love and cherish me despite my flaws and weaknesses.
  • Remind myself, no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, it is enough… I am enough!
  • Write that I am perfectly created for MY individual purpose.

 

I think about the times in my life when I felt perfect peace, when my inner critic was silent and my body, mind, and spirit were connected.

I feel it every time I deliver a new baby into this world.

I feel it when I am actively engaged in service to others.

I believe we feel it when we are using our bodies for the purpose they were created: to love, to serve, to raise our families, to learn, to play, and to have joy. I want to learn to speak to myself with love and compassion. If I can do this for myself then maybe a little part of me can inspire the wider world to smile and feel peace with themselves too.

6 Comments
  • Patricia
    Posted at 13:50h, 14 March Reply

    Be a mom ,is a wonderful school full of love ❤️

  • Trina Sheranian
    Posted at 15:52h, 14 March Reply

    Brilliantly written ? Love you ❤️ for your streangths and your imperfections! #motivatedbylove

  • Jalma Baker
    Posted at 16:10h, 14 March Reply

    I must tell you I have a very special thing I do when feeling very sad and down–I re-watch your posting of Beckett in the grocery store. It never fails to make me smile, maybe tear up a little, and feel much better Yesterday I posted it to all my friends for maybe the fourth time. One responded: “This is the best thing I have ever watched.” Thank you times 60 million for sharing that!

  • Katie Gehringer
    Posted at 16:19h, 14 March Reply

    What great thoughts. I love the concept of being your own best friend instead of your own worse enemy ( which is where I usually fall unfortunately)

  • Laurie Szentirmai
    Posted at 21:27h, 14 March Reply

    You are an amazing mother. Look how much your children are learning and experiencing. So what if breakfast is cereal without milk one day. It’s fun, teaches the kids that not all is always perfect and today is different. Love your vlog and plan to live vicariously through your videos and pics to see parts of the world I may never get a chance to visit myself.

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 00:07h, 17 March Reply

    great job mom

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