One last tribute

My first day in Amsterdam I found out that a good friend for the past 15 years had passed away. This loss knocked me off my feet for a few days. Death instills fear in me. Not fear of death itself but fear that I haven’t lived fully, or lived right, or lived truthfully. I know every inch of this fear and I realize my fear is identical to thousands of others. When life feels like it is taken to soon we look at our own and think, “If I were gone tomorrow am I OK with where my life is at?”

The city felt bone cold as I committed to my suffering for a few days. But then when I saw Sinterklaas arrive via boat to the neighborhood amongst hundreds of smiling families I felt something ease with in me. Where families Рlocal and traveling, children or not Рgave me that feeling of Christmas. That feeling of renewal.

As I lite my Christmas count down Candle each night I pay tribute to His lifetime of experiences. I remind myself that where a physical body ends and what is not a body begins is the essence of a person, which we never leave behind.

I raise one last toast to him and to planet earth during this Christmas season. That we all have a long peaceful stretch of balance wherever we are.

 

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2 Comments
  • Sandie Tillotson
    Posted at 15:12h, 09 December Reply

    sorry to hear of your loss Kenzie – glad you found some joy and peace in addition to your grief.
    Love you !

    • Kenzie Tillotson
      Posted at 17:16h, 09 December Reply

      Thank you! love you too

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