Jun 19, 2017 Week One on the Road
Our first week of travel brought us to Pirates Cove in Boulder City, Nevada. There were minimal melt downs, from Derek and the kids, so I would say we are off to a smooth start. Alaire, our nanny, won’t officially join us until July when we go to NYC. However, she joined us this week for fun. We haven’t had a nanny before. This week gave me a small taste of little adjustments I will make with my parenting because I will have an extra set of hands around to help us out.
Beckett was crying after going on the rope swing across the pool. I noticed that Alaire came over and held him. I made a small movement to go towards him and comfort him, but I stopped instead and watched her. I am going to have to be OK with someone else nurturing for me in different moments. I am going to need to learn this next month when to be a mom and when it’s OK to let other’s step in for me. I am learning when to give of myself and when to let others give to me.
I think there is a secret tone of guilt and judgment in the parenting world. That if you aren’t there personally for every moment, every second, every event, every tear you are a bad parent. It needs to be YOU at all times. If you aren’t giving all of your time to your children you are selfish and a pretty crummy parent. There is this un-spoken shame of wanting things beyond a home and family as a parent. I’ll be the first to admit that I want autonomy from my kids. It makes me a much better parent. At the same time I’d like to think that their life is going to be pretty great because I am their parent.They’re getting a very different upbringing than I did. I want my children to have the right to be children and this year is one of the ways I am trying to do that.